Mar 10, 2013 - 0 Comments - Education, Politics -

The Right of the Children to Keep And Bear Pop-Tarts Shall Not Be Infringed

toaster_pastry_frostedMaryland State Senator J.B. Jennings has introduced legislation that The Daily Caller is calling the “Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act.” The bill, actually titled the “Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013,” is in response to the ridiculous actions taken recently by Park Elementary School in Baltimore to suspend a second grader for eating his toaster pastry into a gun-like shape and saying “bang bang.” In other words, they suspended him for being a little boy.

Jennings’ proposed legislation takes aim at the recent trend to institute moronic zero-tolerance policies which severely punish the normal, innocent behavior of little boys. Zero-tolerance policies always end up being zero common sense policies because they force reasonable people to act unreasonably and they provide cover for unreasonable people who make supremely unreasonable disciplinary decisions.

Perhaps the best part of the legislation is that it exacts penalties on the bed-wetting teachers and administrators who freak out every time a little boy points a finger gun or draws pictures of weapon (daily occurrences when I was in elementary school). According to The Daily Caller:

The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

Clearly, anyone who sees a 7 year-old imaginatively eating a  Pop-Tart as threatening needs some serious counseling, or perhaps a different line of work.

Follow Senator Jennings on Twitter @SenatorJennings.

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